Sunday, April 23, 2006

You haven't sold? Hahaha, you're a wannabe.

Oh that's so sweet of you. Yes, really, I do mean it.

I haven't sold a thing. I don't pretend or lie about it. What would be the point behind posing as an option screenwriter? Don't think others can find the facts real quick? I do. There's plenty of info available about a wannabe or poser online. Believe me, I do look.

I don't have time to bullshit. I don't have time to waste on trivialities or personal flaming. If someone wants to spit at me, try to do so in the right direction huh? Why? Because it makes me laugh when I come back to kick the facts right in my attacker's face.

I don't need to pretend anything. I've never once said to anyone I was better than him/her but I can tell this much: I learn more everyday about the business than I let others think. It's all in the process of learning and getting where I must be. See again? There's no if in my sentences when it comes to my dream. I thank my passion for that much. Others do see this in me while others try to attack it for whatever reason.

I give myself time to learn the ropes. I try to do as much as I can and all of it will bring me to the next level until I can kick back and do what I should have done for a long time. Can't get a grasp at it? Well, ain't it sad. I'm pedalling forward while some just stops to laugh at others. Hey, instead of stopping, give the guy a kick and let him know why that was done.

I'm in no position and location to say I can rush through. I told everyone it might take a decade before I sell something. Will it mean that I will stop writing? I breath this, I live this, I dream it every freaking night. That I write in blog or on my script or even in forums, doesn't make me a poser. But yeah, I might just be a wannabe at this moment.

Wannabe-- I want to write: Check. I want to learn: Check. I want people to read me: Check. I want to sell/option one of my projects: Check. I sold/optioned one of my projects: Not yet. But, fella, I am heading there. It's not a IF, it's a WHEN. I'm no puppy, I'm no youngster with just dreams. I work on them every day. There's not one free moment where I don't think or do something about screenwriting and movies. It's there. It's my passion. Do you have it as well?

Some put themselves on a pedestral, looking down at others who just started in the field. It's a free world, they can do as they want but at the very least, if they are going to shoot down someone else, do it so the writer can learn from it. Shooting down is not the same as criticizing, mind you. It's completely different. I criticize, I am open to receive some constructive criticism because I do want to learn. It's the part of the way I can get to the next level and I am thankful to get so many people reading and pointing errors or thoughts on my writing.

Scare tactics is for kids. Bullies always get the back hand one day or the other. The business is tough enough to break into for peers to blast each other down. Solidarity, I've said many times, is something we should all have toward one another. It doesn't cost anything to help someone else. I'm no angel and yet, if I can help, I would never refuse to help someone else in need. I have at least that much self respect to tell him/her that I can't.

It's all so dark, is it? It shouldn't be. It shouldn't be this way. I don't have do deal with pricks all the damn time. Something got to give. Honestly, I'm starting to get bored at preaching the same thing over and over. Not all of us have the chance to have contacts, backgrounds and even the education to be where some are. It's no time to bitch though. It's time to fight back. To push until we reach the status we want to achieve. It takes its toll, it's never easy but this is where my passion will boost me. Everytime I pull my hair, I back away and think it over. I don't quit. I just pause. I have time, sure, but not that much time I have to waste it on fronting to others.

I know I will get blasted through and through when I will start pitching or querying. I fall down and I stand up again. I'm not and will never say I'm great. I don't have that much ego and as some will tell me, I often seek some pad in the back and some reassurance. Nothing wrong with that either, it's all I have. I don't have access to screenwriters' meeting. I am not there yet but I bid my time carefully. I write everything and everywhere. From this blog, to forums on my spare moments. Don't mistake these as lack of focus. I just balance my time between play and my projects. It allows me to take a good perspective on things.

Last thing that makes me scratch my head: online etiquette. Are so many so disrespectful they can't even say thank you when someone gives them an opinion/idea/thought? And I'm being pointed to be a wannabe? Hahaha...Ironic. I'm a wannabe because I put myself there and I move on forth. I agree, but don't ever think I need to pose as someone else. It insults my intelligence and my self-respect.

And coming from someone that has not broken in the business yet, it makes me smirk. Actually, it makes me really laugh. One word to the wise, fellas, and quote:

I'd like to get kissed before I get fucked... It's all about preliminaries and you're humping on the wrong leg.