It's a BIRD, it's a PLANE...Nah it's just a scribe.

Got to update it. Right.

Summertime sucks. Plenty of reasons to do something else than just staying home in front of a computer. Possibly even catch up with my fleeing social life and get out into the sun (actually moon). Of course, my mind is still racing and there are plenty of ideas I have to put down on paper.

So balance is something I must strive on at this point. I’m being very good, imo. Watching movies, reading scripts and much less time online to spend on forum posting.

My number is up for 2A logline lottery but I don’t seem to be picking up a lot of beat and posts on my two entries. It’s a shame really but then again, I’m not sure what I need to do to boost the suggestions. I participated before, posting my thoughts and all. Doesn’t seem to reciprocate. Ah well.

I try to lurk in DD whenever I can. I’m fond of the people there. A good atmosphere even if it reads a bit rough sometimes. Always plenty of helpful guys and ladies there. The only thing pissing me off over there seems to be my post # lowering every freaking time I post. Yes, yes…It’s all about that sweet OoO.

Like I said, I’m trying to catch up on my social life but refuse to go out to clubs and bars every week-end. For me, it’s a waste of money, time (hang-over recovery time included) when I could do something a bit more productive. It’s St-Jean Baptiste here in Montreal and along with the Formula 1 special week-end, main arteries being closed for side walk sales, party nights all over and the ongoing World Cup, I’ve got plenty of good reasons to be out. I must be some kind of hermit. I’ve gone out only a couple of times and limited my appearances to a couple of hours for each of them. Got to pay up sometimes.

So here's my list of attempts to go out and do something:

- going to Tokyo Bar on Thursday, Friday and Saturday? FAILED

- going to the St-Jean Parade? FAILED

- Going to meet friends for Formula 1 parties? FAILED

- Going to coffee shops and looking bored? YESH!!!!

And my mind is racing still.

I got an idea that’s booming in my head. Alright, alright, I have more than ONE idea but focusing on just one right now. Some writers and scribes would know the feeling when they got a concept that could be kicking asses and making studios tap you on the shoulders. I got it before but this time, I feel I have a champ.

I can’t post anything right now. I didn’t even enter it into the 2A lottery (then again, seeing how well I am doing there, I wonder if crickets would not start singing). So I’m playing with the outline and a treatment. Logline is done and it reads very nice. I am actually really proud of myself here. Gauchita mentioned I have to write something really close to my life. I have to write about my life and I got something that is as close as it gets when it comes to follow her suggestion.

Haven’t seen her online for awhile. With my mind racing and pondering if I did or said something stupid, I got to cool off on the paranoia thing. She might be playing polo or something for all I know. Hope to see her online soon. You got to love DDers. I said it once and I’ll say it again.

I’m going to give myself up to September for this feature. Just make sure that it reads and flows great. It will impress. I promised myself this much.

Discovered something today. Well, not really discovered, just understood it better. In “Adaptation”, Cage as Kaufman uses a voice recorder. I remembered wondering why he would use a voice recorder when he could have written it down on his computer. I was outside, having a coffee and talking my best friend about my idea and concept. We had a good discussion and DOH, I thought to myself I should write this down. Where was my computer, laptop or pen and paper? FREAKING NOWHERE? That’s right!

So next item on my purchase list after another Final draft for another computer (also on my list), a laptop, a new TV and a new life… A voice recorder. Yeah! That makes sense. I’ll be able to look like a lunatic talking to myself on the terrace. GO ME!

Financial support and donations are welcome by the way. Just email me about sending your money and I’ll be high-fiving the lot of you. I also misplaced my lotto ticket. So much for luck, eh?

Today being another sunny day, I decided to go out for a coffee and discussing my ideas further. Should be interesting to see what I could come up with. So for you readers and good friends, I’ll try to keep you updated a bit more.

Before the end of the summer. Just kiddin’

My drive and prayer

Why do I go through all this process? Why do I even think of going through it all?

I should stop. I should just push my keyboard away and call it the day. What would anyone expect from a miserable guy like me? What kind of ridicule imagination should a man like me bring to the all mighty HW?

I am no hack. I strive and burden myself at learning every bit of information as I can. Sure, I have some smarts and an imagination. No credit. No education to call for. Nothing fancy other than this little passion for movies and writing. I should stop, some would say but I just can't let it go. Maybe it will lead nowhere. Maybe it will be my break for the future. A legacy like I told myself. I need to leave with something that will remind others that I was there. I was that storyteller that made them smile/smirk/squirm.

Everything I've done up to now, I've done without going to school and taking courses for them. Yikes, eh? Well sure. Cringe away. I do but thanks to a lot of guidance and reading, I do get better. Some souls out there point and/or push me to improve. I'm a baby taking baby steps. I fall. I fumble a lot but I stand back up and smile. I don't and will not let this die. Even on my four, I will crawl toward my goal. Cut them away, I will slither and get my teeth in the business. I have nothing to begin with. I have everything to gain and it started well.

A lot of time. I cry alone. I snarl at myself when I procrastinate. Quit now! Leave it to professionals! You have not a chance in hell!

Tell you what! I have a chance as long as I write something people will read. I am already in Hell. You have no idea how much pain I have gone through to be where I am now. I am still alive and breathing. God, my witness, does see that in the very least, a few people have faith in my love and abilities to learn and adapt. One day, when I will make it, each and everyone of them will be just more than names coming out off my lips.

This is not a call for pity. This is my drive. A reminder for myself that I must do those things. Not because of a duty per se. It's something else much more emotional. With nothing going for myself, I've turned to my two constant loves to bring me back to life. This is my way to resurrection. Turn all those little things I have toward the only hope I have wanted to reach.

I am a strong believer in karma. I also believe we have been placed on this earth to accomplish something. This is my something. It's beyond just a dream. Much like any writers out there, I work to make it happen. I have a long way to go (as some told me) but it also means I am on the way. Screenwriting or anything I pour down into words is a piece of myself. It's an emotional process and this is who I am. This is all I have.

I have the good fortune of being surrounded by professionals and hopefuls. If I can help in anyway with my insight, I will not hesitate to do so. Those are my brothers and sisters in arms. It's a competition, of course, but who said I needed to cut throats and backstab anyone on the way? It's not me. I will not be me. Just that kind of guy who will stop a lot of things to listen to others talk and rant. It opens my eyes and allows me to evolve.

For all those nay-sayers that expected a big "fuck you", you will not get any of that. Instead, you get a "Thank you and remember my name". This path of mine might have started as a passion but it turned out to be really a love story. Something I should be scared of since all my love stories have turned to tragedies and losses.

I am here in the dark.

Writing.

Crying...But in the end, I will leave something to remember me by.

It's about creation. Not inspiration.

A little something while I am taking a break.

I should have gone back to feature. I should tell myself it's impossible to break into the Japanese market. They have enough people, some say, that knows the market and the anime needs. Sure. It's the same thing in Hollywood. Difference is that HW doesn't stop at the ethnicity trap. Call it racism, call it xenophobia. I rather see it as total bullshit.

I could have blamed my fate to be non-Japanese but hey, it's my life and I got to do what I can during my time here. Can't just bitch at things and wait for the next life. Now, I look at the american market and I see the potential for it to grow as much as the Japanese one. I'm not talking about morning or after school cartoons here. I am referring to anime. Mature ones...You know, something like McFarlane.

It got to start somewhere. This passion. This love. It can't just die out because one market decides to look at his belly button. Man, where's the likes of Dai Sato when you need them, huh? I'm sure there are people working in Japanese anime studios who could accept ideas from a gai-jin like me.

Where are those?

There is a strong debate I could certainly be part of. I want in. I've loved anime and its background enough to know my way around. I'm no hack. Plenty of things to learn and I'm willing to do just that. Learn. Adapt. Improve. The question still resides. Where do I go to?

In the meanwhile, I continue writing on my episodes and babble on DDP. Bless their hearts, the posting members are able to pull away the stress from these questions. However, I do know I'll need to come to terms and find answers to these questions of mine. I started asking for direction from outside. Animenation and frognation are two of the different places I have sent emails to. More knowledge, I suppose, before I step into the unknown.

My TNO is being created page by page, idea after another to rage into episodes. My creation, my work that's stamped on an inspiration denying itself to allow me in.

Will it be "Banzai" or "Yippee"?